Where to even begin? Life has sure picked up speed these last few months, along with some exciting news to share…
Baby girl haines is making her debut in july!
You might’ve noticed this space has been a little quieter lately, well now you know why. I’m 22 weeks, and thankfully out of the depths of the first trimester. It was certainly a rough go of it to get here! Long story short I was terribly sick and nauseous almost all of my first trimester. I never got sick, but almost wished I had, because the nausea had me down for the count. Fortunately my doctor put me on a combination of Unisom and Vitamin B6, which was truly a lifesaver, as nothing else helped ease the nausea.
But now that I’m in the second trimester and feeling mostly better physically (hello tiredness!), I’m starting to feel the hormones kick-in to full gear. I’ll admit it took me a bit to realize what was causing my emotions to be on high-alert.
We all know what’s going on in the state of the world right now, and my doom-scrolling has become a bit out of hand. Last week it rained pretty much all week, too. So coupled with world events, and the dreary and cold weather here in Houston, I found myself in a serious funk.
I took a week or so break from social media, and finally found it within myself earlier this week to get on and share my struggles. Boy, how cathartic it was to see others message me and tell me I’m not alone – not alone in my emotions, my anxious thoughts, feeling helpless for Ukraine and also being scared to cross the fine-line of continuing with the normal of my life (which current-events have amplified how fortunate I am to have normalcy right now) and appearing tone deaf.
While I realize that I personally cannot do much, with the exception of donating to worthwhile causes and amplifying appropriate voices and stories from Eastern Europe, I also cannot just turn a blind eye to what’s happening. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d see similar images come out of Europe in 2022 that mirror images from WWII…
It’s definitely a version of emotions I’ve never grappled with before – feeling disgusted, sympathetic, scared, but also an additional added layer of being pregnant. My mom and my grandmother always used to tell me, “just wait until you’re a parent, you’ll understand why I’m making a big deal out of things”. Truthfully, I just usually rolled my eyes and said, “yeah sure,” but I totally get it now.
We’re over the moon excited for baby girl Haines to arrive, but I would not be honest if I didn’t admit that I’m scared. And I let that fear cripple me enough to not want to share my emotions, to think that there was something wrong with me and just be in an overall funk last week. And while it took me a few days to realize it, I know I have this incredible little community both in-persona and here on the Web who are here to cheer me on, identify with how I’m feeling and have words of encouragement or advice on how to get through.
What I’m really trying to say here is that speaking up about your emotions and feelings is SO important. Pregnant or not, I’ve become a firm believe in talking and sharing about my experiences as a way of catharsis and moving on. Remember when I shared our grief in losing our sweet Lucy way too soon? Or a prior coffee talk the delved into losing my grandmother – these posts have become a journal of sorts to work through my emotions. I hope they help you, like they have me.
I won’t ever have all the answers, and what might work for me this week, could be totally different the next. In my thoughts and ramblings the last few days, I realized that I have a word for my 2022: GRACE. I’m not usually the type to give myself a word or phrase to guide my year, but this year I’m starting something new. I know we’re in for a lot of personal changes with welcoming a new child, embarking on some house projects and generally all the other things living in today’s day and age throws at us.
So if you made it to the bottom of this post, thank you. I hope my thoughts and words could help you in some way. Whether you’re struggling, too, with the news of the world right now, or perhaps you’ve stumbled across the my blog because you’re newly pregnant too. I hope I can be a friend to you, and encourage you with my words. As always, my comments, direct messages on social media and email is always open. Sending each and every one of you love and encouragement to give yourself grace.
And if you’re looking for ways to help Ukraine from afar, Global Empowerment Mission and World Central Kitchen are both on the ground in Ukraine and surrounding border countries actively offering assistance and relief to those in need.
